When we think of the question who a person is, we face a conundrum as to how to best answer that question. It causes us to ask further questions to ascertain just what we mean by who we are.
Am I the sum of my actions? my past mistakes?
Am I the extent of my achievements? my failures?
Am I the quality of my ideals? my ability to live up to them?
Just what is it that defines a man? I have in my history left a wake of mistakes and failures - both personal and professional. I have more than a serpents share of weaknesses to trip me up at any given time. I confess and acknowledge my imperfections and shortcomings. My finely tuned conscience gives me more trouble than the most critical of the self-righteous do-gooders who have crossed my path. However, I also realise that these no more constitute who I am than does a wheelchair, hearing aid or glasses define a person with the corresponding physical disabilities. My moral deficiencies are merely obstacles in the path of who I am. The cross I bear.
So who am I? As hard as it might feel for me to believe it sometimes, I am first and foremost a child of God and a heir of the Kingdom of Heaven with Jesus, my Saviour. I too easily take my eyes off of this fact, but it remains that I am a prince in a land not of earth. I am forgiven and have been given a purpose and this has shaped who I am and will continue to shape me for the rest of my life. My name is Valiant, a man after the Almighty's own heart. I believe I have been put here for a purpose and gifted for a mission.
I am a dreamer. I may be in my late 20's, and I may have grown older, but my heart is still in Never Neverland. I believe the best about people and the world. Not naively as one who has never been confronted with evil (Peter Pan had his Captain Hook), but as one who realises the potential for good and evil in everyone. I am neither blinded by the potential for good, nor disillusioned by the propensity for wickedness. I believe that truth and light can and will conquer darkness and lies, and won't quit believing this until my breath departs my body.
I am a lover. I love passionately and unflinchingly. Age has tempered my expressions with a wisdom for appropriateness and tamed the intensity of my hearts desire to give, but beneath the exterior I put up for the safety of those around me, I hold back a tidal wave of energy and feeling that could change the world. I am not just talking about being a romantic (though I am very much this as well), I am fuelled with a desire to leave a positive mark on this world, and touch as many of the people in this cold, dark world with the flame that resides within me. This is both a blessing and a curse. A blessing, because I know I can bring a smile easily to people's faces, but a curse, because to very few people can I actually be my whole self.
I am a friend. I love to live in the real world of real people with real lives. Above all that follows about myself, keep in mind that foremost I am a dreamer and a lover and a friend. I am someone who would die for my friends... yet my valor is not confined only to the acts of heroism in dire circumstances. I love to listen to my friends talk about the deep and mundane... love to joke and laugh with them. I am a shoulder to cry on, day or night, and a support to them emotionally and practically. I am open and honest with my friends - I know them and am known by them. They are my extended family and if a person is known by the company they keep, then I am more than happy to be refected by my steadily growing circle of friends.
I am a scholar. My mind races faster than even I can keep up with at times. I can quickly grasp the logic behind any line of reasoning and find it's strengths and weaknesses. I have a bifocal perspective which allows me to keep at once both the larger picture and the finer details of any issue. Being passionate, I can still relegate my emotional attachment to any volatile subject to be shaped by the facts, weighed and arranged in their proper order. I pride myself on rarely losing a debate, because I believe I possess the one quality which few intellectuals have acquired (especially within the religious fields) - the ability to concede a point and move towards a more enlightened position (therefore, if I am shown to be in error on any matter, I quickly align myself with what is more correct and hence, have not lost the debate). I do not judge 'enlightened' as being in the company of the majority, but as being where there is an integrity of evidence.
I am a detective. From my earliest years, my favourite genre has been the mysteries. Hardy Boys, Three Investigators, Nancy Drew, Agatha Christie... these all infected me with the love of mystery and intrigue. And the thrill of all great investigations is the journey towards and ultimately the uncovering of the culprit. I have taken this passion into my research. The Bible and History are, to me, as exhilarating in their unravelling of their secrets as a million crime novels. And more often than not, as I review the investigations of those who have gone before me, I see many a 'cold case,' begging to be solved, and many a conviction wrongfully executed on the basis of the evidence at hand.
I am an artist. I love savouring music, though I am but an amateur at performing it. I delight in appreciation of certain forms of visual art and graphic design, though these expressions don't flow naturally from me. I am a wordsmith... I love to read, and I love to write. But most of all, I love to express myself verbally. While yet I know I am a mere shadow of greater textual and oratory composers, yet I am never more fully alive when I am speaking in front of people. Whether it be in public debating, teaching, or preaching, I love not the sound of my own voice, but the connection I make with an audience and the lights I see flickering in their eyes as I gift them with bounties from own mental adventures and explorations.
I am an advocate. If there is one thing that I value above all else which my mother has instilled in me, it is the sense of justice. I cannot bear to see injustice. It is here in which I have come closest to being disillusioned. Truth is easier to highlight and love more contagious to people than it is to secure justice. Why is this? Because while love and truth can be impressed upon people at a personal, individual level, justice extends to the breadth of the community. This provides a more complex challenge, because it only takes a small minority in power who believe that 'might makes right' to usurp justice. But I still believe that ultimately, whether in this life or the next, right makes might. True power comes from standing for justice. However I can do this, whether through the pen, or the pulpit, or even if I have to don the persona of a costumed crusader, I will always be found standing for those who have been disposessed of their rights and freedoms.
I am an entrepreneur. As one of my friends has stated, I am constantly "re-inventing the wheel". As one who naturally sees things as a detective, weighing evidence, I cannot help but see easily correctable flaws in life itself. I am not great with engineering, mechanics, electronics or computing, but I can see opportunities present in the very operation of day-to-day experience. I also see opportunities in the academic field at which I am so at home, or within the artistic talents where I am most alive. What I love most is to tackle and overcome a challenge. Some of my ideas will be expanded upon in other pages either on this blog or on my future website in the near future.
Why have I written this page? It was as much for me as it is for you, the reader. I have recently come out of a relational experience that has threatened to leave me confused as to my true identity. I am taking the opportunity to remind myself of the qualities I value within myself and to give myself a platform for moving ahead. Whether or not I measure up every second of every day to what I have written here... whether or not I stumble over my feet or even off the path at any time... these things do not make the person I am. Who a man is can not to be judged by the actions of a single hour, day or any other relatively short length of time. What makes the man is the direction of the overall journey, whether upward or downward. This is as much a roadmap of where I'm going as it is a statement of who I am. You see... the two are inextricably linked.
